I’m having a really hard time writing about my impressions of the cruise, so I am just going to do a stream-of-consciousness, question and answer type post relating to it. There will be at least one more post on the cruise. In it I will tell you about my excursions and give you my final impressions.
Q. What do you think of Florida?
Since my mom has been retired there for over 10 years, I’ve spent a lot of time in Florida visiting with her. It has its own beauty, but it doesn’t really appeal to me. Having grown up in Alaska, I need mountains to feel comfortable. Since the highest point in Florida is 300 feet I don’t enjoy it here. And then there is the heat! I only visit in the winter and spring, but even so it has been hotter than I could handle a few times. And it is packed full of senior citizens. So everywhere you look you see older people. I’m 58, and I am young person here!
So does that change my mind about my general view of Western Civilization? Not at all!
- First, bear in mind these are the very earliest of the baby-boomers and the way the economy is going in a few years there will probably be very few people left who can retire with this kind of wealth and luxury. I think they are the very end of the golden age of America. And even now for all these people who retired to wonderful lives, there are many other Americans who have retired to poverty with nothing, or simply can’t retire at all.
- Second, look at what they had to pay to get this wonderful retirement; they worked 40 years to get 10-15 great years–if they are lucky. To my mind that is much too high a price to pay. A few of them were lucky and worked at jobs they liked, but most of them probably just tolerated their jobs and endured them. Trading 40 years of barely acceptable life, for 10-15 years of the good life is a terrible bargain! If I had it to do over again I would reverse it. All my websites and writing are dedicated to this idea!
- Third, many of them are living in large part off of government money. As more and more of us baby-boomers enter retirement, the burden of paying for them is going to fall on fewer and fewer workers. Now that isn’t a complaint aimed at the baby-boomers they paid into social security all their lives and they are simply getting out what they are owed; but it is a simple fact that the government already spent all that money and now the burden will fall entirely on those currently working. It’s hard for me to see how it can be anything but a disaster waiting to happen.
A. While I was constantly aware I was on a moving ship, it was never even the slightest problem. Generally the movement is so small you barely know the floor is moving and even at its worst it’s not a problem. I’m told that in really rough seas it can be an issue, but that’s hard for me to imagine. I did have to take a ferry to the mainland of Mexico for an excursion, and that trip was very rough with the boat bobbing around quite a bit. That wasn’t an issue for me but I guess for some people it could have been.
Q. Is it mostly old people?
A. Absolutely not! I am blown away by how many young people are here. I’d say one third of the guests are 20-40, another third are 40-60 and the rest are over 60. There are even lots of families with young children from infants to teenagers. It reminds me of when I was younger and had a family. My wife and I both worked at jobs we didn’t like for a few years and then finally saved up enough money to go on a great vacation. We spent all our savings for a week or two of pleasure and then started all over again. I suspect that is exactly what is going on here. Again, to me that is a terrible trade: giving away a year or two of your life in order to get one wonderful week.
Q. Is it mostly couples?
A. Yes, it’s almost all couples. I have spent most of my adult life as a single man. I’ve been an adult for 38 years (from 20 to 58) and I was married for 18 of those years. I have never liked being single, in fact most of that time I hated it. Mostly I have longed to be married or in a relationship, but simply didn’t know how. I was not good at being married, and I don’t seem to be good at being a boyfriend. The part of you that makes connections with other people doesn’t seem to work right in me, I’m pretty sure it’s because of fear.
I read and hear other single people my age saying they have accepted being single and aren’t even a little interested in finding a life-companion, but that isn’t true of me; I would really like it if that happened. But, I have finally come to the point where the urge for it is not so strong and driving. I have finally accepted that I may be alone for the rest of my life and that might very well be the best thing. I have a purpose and goal in my life (helping people by telling them about mobile living and boondocking) and it brings me a huge amount of satisfaction. Maybe that will just have to be enough. BUT, ladies, I’m still interested!!
Q. What did you like best on the cruise?
As weird as this sounds, my favorite thing was walking on the jogging track. Now that is truly weird! My happiest moments are ALWAYS when I am active in nature and walking on the jogging path was as close as I could get onboard the ship. I tried to walk every morning, but twice I couldn’t because I had to leave early for excursions. I walk every night at sunset and I have really enjoyed that. The jogging path is at the very end of the ship on the top deck so it has a great view and generally only other runners or walkers are there so it is a pleasant time. I find walking in circles boring but being on the ship makes it easier.
Along most of the jogging track I can look down at guests and do some people-watching. I could tell you that I am too old to be interested in all the pretty girls in their bikinis but I try not to lie to you!! So the truth is I just think of looking at scantily clad, beautiful women as enjoying one of god’s gifts in his beautiful creation and discreetly give them a look-over. Just like god made beautiful flowers, lakes and mountains for us to enjoy, he made beautiful people for us to enjoy looking at. So it is my spiritual duty to stare!!!! I hope that doesn’t make me sound too much like a dirty old man and you aren’t too terribly offended!!!
Q. Was the cruise ever boring?
It would have been very boring if it hadn’t been for the excursions. Seven days on this ship would have been torture for me. But four out of the seven days we were in port so each of those days I went into town and did a tour of some kind. There is a huge variety of tours available but the majority of them were for water sports of some kind which I don’t enjoy. But there are many others available so I didn’t have a problem finding ones I wanted to do. This is what I did every day of the cruise:
- Saturday (4-22-2013): We departed from Miami at 4:00pm and there was a huge party on the main deck so it very high energy and exciting.
- Sunday (4-21-2013): This was a day at sea, sailing from Miami to Cozumel, Mexico. It wasn’t boring at all because everything was new and it was fun learning and exploring the ship. That night my mom and I went to our formal dinner and afterwards watched the singing and dancing troupe at the theater.
- Monday: (4-22-2013) I took a ferry from Cozumel, Mexico unto the mainland and then took a bus to a Mayan Temple for a tour.
- Tuesday (4-23-2013): In Belize City, Belize my mom and I took a horse and carriage tour of the town.
- Wednesday (4-24-2013): On Mahogany Bay, Isle Roatan, Honduras I went to Gumbalina Park and saw Monkeys and McCaw parrots in a beautiful park setting.
- Thursday (4-25-2013: On Grand Cayman I took a cruise on a Pirate ship!
- Friday (4-26-2013): This was our final full day and it was spent sailing from the Cayman Islands back to Miami. There wasn’t much going on but we had to pack for departure in the morning and I wrote and then published this blog post, so the day went well.
- Saturday (4-27-2013): Early tomorrow morning we will dock in Miami and debark the ship at 8:00 am. Then we take the bus back to my mom’s house in Lady Lake, Florida.
With all that activity I never had a chance to get bored!
Q. How did you get into port?
A. At two of our ports of call we were able to tie up to a pier so we just stepped off the ship onto the pier and walked into town. But at two others had to “Tender” into port. That means the ship couldn’t pull right up to the dock or pier, it had to anchor out in the bay. Then we had to get off the Cruise Ship and onto small boats that ferried us to port. Of course that was all new to me and didn’t sound easy, but it turned out to be no big deal. This is one of these times when a picture is worth a 1000 words, so here are pictures of how we Tendered into port:
Was that government money social security? We paid for that already.
Thx, Rob. You took the words out of my mouth. I paid for my retirement all my life via Social Security and as I was self-employed, I paid the full amount with no employer contribution. Social Security is not a gift from the government, Bob!
karen, it is really important to me that you know I was not in any way saying that drawing SS was a gift or charity. Here is a quote of what I said in that paragraph:
I understand totally that SS was an investment. Every year the government took money out of our paychecks and promised to give it back when we turned 62. SS is not a gift, it is a debt owed. But that doesn’t change the fact that the check is written by the government and that the checking account is empty. That has to lead to problems and that was my point.
Bob
I agree 100% Rob, and if you will check again you will see that I was very careful to say just that in the post. When I start drawing SS it won’t be charity, they will be paying me the money they owe me. But that doesn’t change the fact that they stupidly already spent the money they took from me and now they don’t have any left to pay me the debt they owe me. That means my children are going to be paying to support me with their taxes. And there are less and less workers paying taxes and more and more people on SS collecting. That math doesn’t work.
Bob
You’re an extremely wise man Bob. You’re right about those baby boomers; they did it wrong. All of life is to be enjoyed, not just the end of it. And so many don’t make it to the end at all. So when are they supposed to live? And I’ve had the exact same thought, comparing beautiful women to flowers. To be admired for thier beauty at a distance, but never disturbed in my case. Women aren’t condusive to a stress free life in my experience, and that’s what I’m going for.
Cyrus, my father was an example to me of the folly of that kind of thinking. He retired at 60 financially set for life. Money would never be an issue to him again. That year he was diagnosed with cancer and was dead by 62. He worked at a job he didn’t like all his life and got zero return on his investment. He was a perfect example of what NOT to do.
I totally agree that women are not conducive to a stress-free life. But sometimes it is a wonderful kind of stress!! At any rate, the old saying is true for me “can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”
Bob
That’s a terrible thing about your father Bob. I’m sorry to hear about that. At least he taught you a very important lesson, one you’ve been doing an excellent job of sharing with the world. And yes, you CAN live w/o them! I haven’t had a relationship in three years and counting. I declared celibacy the same way people declare bankruptcy, and for a lot ofthe same reasons.
Cyrus, you are a tremendously more disciplined person than I am! But that is obvious from just a quick glance at the two of us! I really admire anyone who is as focused as you are, very impressive. I also love the tats!
Bob
Thanks bob! Although that’s just the front, my whole back and sides are one huge piece. Maybe I’ll get a pic of that one on the blog soon. Discipline is the one thing I have in abundance, the USMC instilled it in me and martial arts training constantly hones it.
Cyrus, it is paying off for you! Thank you for your service, we all owe you a debt. I wish you the very best!
Bob
Bob,
I agree with you that gazing at visually pleasing bodies is is a natural activity. And though it can be compared to appreciating the beauty of flowers, it also has an element of primal appetite. And this is fine, too.
We would never consider people in their 50s and 60s and up as somehow being too old to salivate at sight and smell of food. Why should other natural appetites be considered shameful for them to feel and respond to?
I suspect it’s because young people are a little uneasy accepting that their parents and grandparents and elders are sexual people, and also a little uneasy about being desired by people they no longer see as cute, or sex objects. Also, older people who disapprove of other older people having an erotic appetite are often insecure about or ashamed of their own waning sexuality or diminished appeal.
It turns out, then, that older men or women with an erotic appetite are not “dirty old” people, but that those who would think of them in this way tend to be shallow or selfish or insecure people.
Keep relishing that eye candy!
Michael
Michael, this is one of those rare times when we agree completely. Who would have guessed it would have been about sex!!
Bob
I love the candid way you write, Bob. Each post, not just this one, is like you’re talking to me across a campfire. There’s no ego to it; it’s rare. Thank you.
Thanks so much Scott! i agree, openness is very rare in our world. Most of us live with a constant fear that if we aren’t careful the true us will be exposed and no one will like us. It was an extremely hard lesson for me to learn that just the opposite is true. That deep down we are all so much alike: just scared, frightened little children yearning for love. And that if we will open up and expose that side of us, most people will respond very favorably because they secretly long to do it as well.
Only in honesty and transparency can we make a true connection with another human being. And above everything else, that is what we all long for.
Bob
I have to disagree, Bob. People do not have to work at jobs they hate and that suck the life out of you. A job you love is just one choice away. Just like when someone chooses to go the van dweller route it takes time to get there. Sell most of your stuff, get a van, set it up, save money, make your plans. A new career is: make the decision, find training either apprentice or maybe school, do the work, learn the trade/job and then go out and get it.
I see a lot of the problem is people just don’t understand it takes work/time to get into the job you love. I stated out in a chair factory staining chairs. I would dip rocking chairs all day in a giant vat of stain. It smelled, was very sticky and dirty sucky job. I hated getting up every morning. My mom told me I could be whatever I wanted to be if I would just make the decision to go for it. So I went to the local community college and spoke with their people and got into a program. After 2 years I felt it was to hard to work and do school so I joined the military and got the GI Bill when I got out. I finished my degree in Chemistry and worked in a field I absolutely love. BUT it was WORK to get there.
So the great jobs you would love to do are there. you just need to find a way to get yourself there. In my humble opinion
Bob~
As an attractive young woman myself I feel it is unrealistic to expect men of any age not to look when I dress in an appealing fashion. However, looking doesn’t mean touching, or having the right to say something sexually offensive…but yes, stopping to appreciate other human beings attractiveness is not a crime and doesn’t make you “dirty.” At some point we all grow older and lose youthful beauty and bodies…it is part of life. While I have it I intend to enjoy it, and others should too, in others or themselves. Older people have their own attractiveness in their competence and confidence in who they are. Wisdom and experience do count for a lot more in the end than a pretty face. I hope you intend to keep your mind open about dating, I have known a few older couples that got divorced and remarried later to the “love of their lives” and are very happy. Compatibility is the key, and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least that one day in your travels you find a woman who suits you and you her…as you will be both doing what you love, living a life of freedom and independence. I admire your gentleness and resourcefulness and passion for living, and I know others in this community do as well. Good luck and I hope you are having a wonderful time. Let me know if you want me to tell you some great places I found in the time I lived in my car on the coast of Big Sur, CA if you ever get down that way.
So glad you are having a great time on the cruise! Which way are you headed? if you happen to pass through my way..Tarpon Springs, Fl. before May 1st…..give a holler. I’m heading north to Pa. then with a brief stop in Melbourne beach, Fl.
Am enjoying your reflections on the cruise. I am one of those Seniors enjoying SW Florida. You’ve heard it “Life Isn’t Fair”. Sometimes it would be good to reverse how things work. When I was a young momma with 2 kids in diapers (no paper ones in those days) we couldn’t afford a clothes dryer. by the time we could afford to buy one, kids had outgrown diapers. =sigh-
Psp, I am so glad you are thriving in your senior years! You’ve paid your dues and you have earned the right. This is your time so enjoy it. I was lucky, both my kids wore pampers, I can’t imagine life without them! Diapers must have kept you busy constantly.
Bob
Wow, I pretty much took the same cruise this February with my folks. I totally identified with your cruise observations. And I also spent most of my time walking on jogging track, and all over the ship. Also went to Gumbalymba park in Roatan, loved it.
I would not go on another cruise. That scene is not for me. My folks love cruising and I wanted to spend some fun, quality time with them. Belize was my favorite port. I went zip lining and cave tubing. I could live in Belize.
I bought your e book before the cruise, and was reading it at sea! Ha!, lots of great info. Someday I hope to hit the road at least part time. Thanks for the inspiration!
Shelby, what an amazing coincidence, the same cruise, under the same circumstances and enjoying the same things! And without knowing it, I was there with you! if there is anything I can do to help you follow your dream, feel free to let me know!
Bob
For me it wasn’t about accepting being single. It was realizing that despite social convention and peer pressure insisting otherwise, I didn’t need to be married. I SHOULDN’T be married. I’m an introvert. I’m reclusive. Being around other people — much less being married to someone — is draining. That’s one reason I never wanted children. Occasional bits of romance are nice, but living alone is much nicer.
Al, you are an exceedingly wise man! To be able to reach such an honest conclusion and then be able to follow through and live it is very admirable. I am actually reaching the same conclusions for myself, but I am still hoping there is some way to make it work anyway. I guess I am a glutton for punishment!
Bob
I had a 5-year experiment with marriage back in my late 30s. We were a great match in so many ways, but we had individual flaws that made a toxic combination. Despite a lot of counseling, we were on the verge of hating each other. It was better to split. Now we’re still very close friends.
Al, once again you are very wise. We all have strengths and weaknesses and in some marriages they compliment each other perfectly. Other times they combine to become deadly poison. you were wise to split when you did; most of us are not that wise!
Bob
For me it’s the gentle movement that makes me seasick. Put me in rough water and I’m fine. It’s annoying but not sick making. But put me in water with gentle swells and I’ll be heaving shortly. I think it’s because the gentle movement is more disorienting. It’s like my mind says the water is flat but my ears and stomach say it’s not. I did a week long live-aboard dive trip. The passage from Ft. Lauderdale to the Bahamas was brutally rough. Nine hours of WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM… It wasn’t fun, but I wasn’t seasick. But five days later, while at anchor in almost glass calm water… BLAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHH!
Al, now you sound like the glutton for punishment. That must have been a long week of diving.
Bob
All’s well around the home fires. Homer accompanied me on a very long walk, maybe one of the longest I have taken. He watched over me carefully. We shared 1/2 bottle of water (all either of us seemed to need). We found a dead dog, he was sifting it out a long way away, but when we got there he made a wide berth around it. That is the second I have found out here. People are disgusting.
As far as relationships, I think you are great at them… maybe you could find a little more time to relax and visit with old friends, when you don’t have a flock of new-bees circling around you. Bob, you will never be alone, unless you want to be alone. I have missed your company, and I know a few other old friends who have as well. We are still out here.
Enjoy the rest of your adventure and hurry home.
I may be taking the kayak to a nearby lake soon, I’m missing being on the water.
Charlene, thanks so much for your love and good care for Homer! It’s obvious he loves you too. It took me a long time, but I have finally learned how to be a friend. Just don’t think I have mastered that boyfriend thing yet! Have a great day on the water.
Bob
Hi Bob,
I just came off a cruise as well, I share many of your overall feelings about cruising. However, I slept so well on the ship, the rocking and sounds (I left the balcony door open all night). Did you sleep well?
ET, for the most part I slept very well. When I am excited about the next day I tend to wake up early in anticipation, so that meant I woke up early most days. But I did sleep well until then. Are you going to go on any more cruises?
Bob
Well Bob, I for one love older men! And any man, any age with a beard and a few extra pounds catches my eye. LOL
I’ve developed lots of friendships online with men who are aged 58 to 80. The older they are, the wiser and more interesting, IMHO.
I’ll be 60 May 6th and feel younger today than I ever have, but that’s because I’m happier. And, for the first time in my life I’m always told I’m beautiful! It’s what’s between a person’s ears that is attractive; the rest is just window dressing.
You must get lots of invites to stop in on folks in Florida so here’s another one. Inglis/Yankeetown is old Florida. ONE traffic light at intersection of 19 and 40. Seven miles to the Gulf.
Heading out for a hike today & alone time. Thanks for your posts. Suzann
Suzann, I agree completely about finding wisdom incredibly appealing! i have enough testosterone left to find young women physically appealing, but that would only last for about 5 minutes, may be 10 on a really good day! Then what? Nothing! But a woman with some years who has fought life’s fight and learned life’s lessons, that can last a lifetime.
Because I flew in and didn’t rent a car, I don’t have transportation (I can’t really leave my mom without their car). Because of that, I am not driving around, but I sure wish I could meet you and others nearby!
But I am in Lady Lake, Florida which is on highway 441/27 between Ocala and Leesburg Florida. If anyone wants to drop by and have coffee I can make that happen!
Bob
Sounds like you have been out of your element! when you are living the perfect (for you) life, a vacation is not always a good thing, except that perhaps it may renew your appreciation of your every day life style.
As for relationships. Those of us who would like a relationship,but figure we will never find one, I think, are much to “discerning”. Maybe we are looking for the perfect partner but when we do find that perfection we can’t see it!
Hmmm….Hey Bob, I am back in AZ! Payson, you are always welcome in my camp if you want to get away from yours!
DcoT
Trisha, I’m glad you are back in AZ but a little disappointed you didn’t come by and camp with us. I know you were getting a little worn out from having people around all the time. Most of us vandwellers need lots of alone-time. i expect to be headed over toward Payson and Show Low later in the summer, hopefully I will see you then.
Bob
Hi Bob,
I’ve never been on a cruise. You make it sound better than I thought. I have a friend who loves them, but he makes it sound like the only important points are the food and the great service. That’s not very important to me, and I get motion sick easily due to a bad ear. The idea of learning and seeing things at the ports of call makes me sit up and take notice, though. That’s much more interesting than a chef who can make any omelet known to man.
I’ll be 56 years old next month. I’m not quite single yet, but I live alone and there’s no real chance of getting back together with my wife. She moved out 14 months ago, and I’m enjoying the quiet. There are certainly times and places I’d like to have a companion, but I’m not sure I’d ever marry again. In my own opinion, I’m a pretty good boyfriend but not really up to living with someone. As with everything else, thre are ways of doing that, and when I’m ready I’ll start looking for it one day at a time.
Calvin, wait till my next post before you form any opinions on cruising. Sorry about the divorce, but sometimes it is for the very best. It was for me and hopefully it will be for you as well.
Bob
Hi Bob, I agree with your take on Florida.Lived until recently in San Diego.Moved to west coast of Fl to help my 88 yr old mom out.I’ll be 59 soon.Great thrift stores & yes I often turn to look behind me when an elderly gentlemen will refer to me as “young lady”.I miss the mountains,the roar of the pacific & hate the roaches the size of VW’s.
Bob, I’ve been happily single 22 yrs now.I think my biggest problem in relationships was I enjoyed my alone time too much.My need for alone time was often interpurted by my partner as I was unhappy with him.At this point in my life I’ve not made “looking” a priority as I see many women here in FL do.I still believe in serendipity & never would use internet dating sites.
I am surprised to hear so many young folks were on the cruise.
But hey, it sounds like a good time. I prefer my own boat, though.
Shine on you crazy diamond!
Bob,
I have only been on one cruise myself and it was a 4 day cruise to Ensanada, MX. Loved the food and the 2 excursions but always felt “locked” in, and I’m sure the lady I was with probably sensed it as well. As far as looking for a potential partner, it would be nice although marriage material I am not. Hell, there are people who have been together in years longer than I have been with someone in weeks. LOL Rather than blame anyone which serves no purpose, let’s just say I have made some fairly poor and lumpy choices along the way in the 35 years since my divorce.
As you say, looking (at the ladies)is free and thank goodness it is. I may be gettin up in years, but I ain’t dead. I may not be able to have a Ferrari, but I can still admire them. But in the long run, I’ll still take my tried and true truck.
As my brother has said to me many times, time to realize that you may indeed be single or unattached for the remainder of your days. It may indeed be so. But, in point of fact, I am weary of the chase and so if it happens, great. If not, it is still fine as I am enjoying my remaining days however long that is. At this point in my life, I would really enjoy a great friendship. Somehow it always seems just a bit more fun when its shared.
Fred, you took all the words out of my mouth, I agree totally with everything you said.
Bob