THERE WAS NEVER ANY DEBATE between me and myself over whether I should sell the house, get rid of nearly all my stuff, and live in a van. It was an instant, “Yes!”
It’s not a simple decision for many. There are a lot of pros and cons for them to consider. And reconsider. And turn inside out and upside down.
Some folks are exceptionally good at seeing every side of a proposition and making convincing arguments for and against every alternative—which keeps them from making any choice at all.
Others are torn between rational and emotional reasons.
And some have reached the point where they just don’t know, where they can’t even form coherent thoughts about it anymore.
My therapist had a little trick for breaking through indecisiveness. “I’m going to ask you a question. I want you to immediately give the first answer that pops into your head. No thinking about it first. Just react. Ready? Here it is: What do you want to do?”
His theory is that you usually do know what you want. Once you’ve named the thing you want, you can examine the reasons your choice wasn’t clear, or why you resisted it. Was it because you didn’t see a way to make it happen? Would the thing you want violate your ethics or the law? Would it harm someone you care about? Focus on the real reasons. Then, if you still want that thing, turn your time and energy toward ways to make it happen.
Indecision is exhausting. Fighting yourself is exhausting. Knowing the answer then finding the way is energizing.
So, quickly, without thinking, what do you want?
I’m constantly reminded of the Doobie Brothers tune “Tell Me What You Want, I’ll Give You What You Need” whenever I’m considering what I want. I realize that as I focus on what I want, the universe gives me what I need to get there. (on a personal note, thanks Al for sharing what the universe has given you. )
“Some folks are exceptionally good at seeing every side of a proposition and making convincing arguments for and against every alternative—which keeps them from making any choice at all.”
Yes. This is a pickle. What I have done is try to transition from a Meyers-Briggs (MBTI) Judger to a Perceiver. From an INFJ to an INFP.
The Judger stereotype is that a bad decision is better than no decision, while a Perceiver can spend forever weighing options.
I own a paid-off house that has not kept pace with market value. If I make the wrong choice, I can’t afford to buy anything comparable. I can’t afford rent because my social security isn’t high enough.
Meanwhile I’ve spent 10 years learning about living in a vehicle. I have everything I need to convert my car. But the drive to be nomadic just isn’t there.
For me van dwelling is about a minimalist life in a cozy space. It’s about creatively overcoming challenges. And it’s about having money leftover every month.
Thank you
Thank you Patti, I to have the exact same story as yours.
Great article Al. In India when people enter into retirement they can move to an ashram and live their golden years in a yoga retreat center. I plan on doing something similar when Volkswagen introduces their 100% electric minibus into the USA market in 2024. I plan on moving to Virginia and living on the outskirts of Yogaville (800 acre yoga retreat center) 1 1/2 hour south of Charlottesville, VA. Or Approximately 2 hours east of Richmond VA.
THE RACE
The race is on
The runner runs
His stride is strong and free
He knows not where he’s going
Nor where he wants to be
He races on
He rounds a bend
Sees crossroads up ahead
But indecision slows him down
And voices spin his head
Succeed succeed
The man in green
Signals he must go
But the man in amber says to wait
And he doesn’t really know
Quite what to do
And time moves on
Too late
The man in red has stopped the race
The flag comes down
The runner’s dead
Jesse Leigh Brackstone
Copyright 1970 Atlantic Press
All rights reserved.
Too many people spend too much of their given time wondering what to be or do, and time will take you anyway, even in the midst of indecision.
I wrote this poem when I was sixteen, fifty years ago, and I’ve never wondered what to be or do, praise God’??
Jess.?
Two thumbs up!
Exactly what I have.