IT’S ESTATE SALE TIME for my late friend, Lou, and there’s a lot of stuff to clear out of here. He was a guy who built things — custom motorcycles, wooden boats, experimental biplanes, travel trailers, a tiny house, and so much more — so he had tools and supplies instead of nicknacks, mementos, furnishings, clothing or other things more conventional folks tend to collect. Lou hated throwing anything out. It might be useful someday, even if it was worn out or obsolete. One does not casually toss aside objects that had put in a lot of good work. To him it would be like discarding hard working people.
So here we are, Linda the executor/longtime friend and I, with a shop and cargo trailer filled with things like 47 screwdrivers, three complete wrench sets, all types of electrical wire, leftover laminate flooring, lumber scraps, half a case of dried up construction adhesive, a box of unlabeled wall warts, bits of sandpaper, a pack and a half of tongue depressors, boxes of
various sizes and types of nails, eleven pocket knives, eighteen tape measures, and some tools so specialized and esoteric we can only guess their use. Or value.
Lou did bequeath a few items to his friends, but there’s a lot left. Linda is more sentimental than I am and as she goes through boxes, cupboards and cargo trailers she finds significance in many things and wants to “re-home” the stuff. But that’s a lot of work and potential shipping expense. And it’s a lot to have on our minds.
My priority is to just have everything gone. Soon. Estate sale? How about an estate giveaway? How about simply unlocking everything and driving away? Heartless, and not what Lou would want, but very pragmatic. When I sold my house so I could hit the road, I gave the furniture to a shelter for battered women, sold some valuable things on eBay, and tossed
the rest in a dumpster. I would be glad to do that with Lou’s stuff, but dumpster rentals have become ridiculously high. I just want to use the thing, man, not own it.
Swedish Death Cleaning
Swedes realized long ago that distributing your possessions while you’re still alive is far less of a burden on your survivors. They have a name for it: Döstädning. It’s not a grand everything-must-go event. Bit by bit, over the years, they cull the most meaningful items and give them as gifts to family and friends. In the process they rethink everything else they own and whether they need to keep it. “Yes, this item is significant, but these other things? Not so much.”
Although döstädning started in the realm of old age and impending death, it has spread to minimalist living. Those things you’ve been holding onto? Why? Are you really going to use them? Do they really enrich your life? Would your life be diminished by parting with the objects or, instead, would giving them make your life fuller?
Those things you’ll leave to family and friends when you’re gone? Why not do it now when you can witness them enjoying your gifts? Why not leave them with the excellent gift of not needing to deal with your stuff after you’re gone?
I’m in that process now, not that I’m dying but I don’t want my kids to be burdened by emptying out my house if I should die. I’ll be the first to admit I have too much stuff! With the present economy and the way things are looking, I want to be able to move into my Forester and be a nomad if I have to. This was a great article and a good reminder!
Who is Lou? I have a far away old(age) nice and friendly guy, up in Casper, WY with the same name and the same looking shop but he use to fix RVs. He sold me an ’77 RV, nice, good RV for that age. Hope is not him. I’m from Ga., and I hope I go up there this summer again. His business was Rec-Vee. Wish him well.
Lou Brochetti. He lived most of his life in California and Oregon.
I love the idea of “death cleaning”. I also like and think it’s worth repeating is something you wrote a while ago:
One less thing taking up space
in my life, in my mind
One less object to care for
or suffer guilt for its neglect.
The last one gone at last
with a wave and a check
and a sigh of relief
My thing becomes his thing
The baton and burden of ownership
passes to another
leaving a hole filled with freedom
Al Christensen.
I’m in Idaho if you’re needing a tour guide.
What part of Idaho?
Al, so nice reading your truthful note ?, just today I found 2 huge containers with brand new clothes I have totally forgot about them, going bananas here trying to decide what to do with ’em… Glad to ‘ hear’ from U again. U were missed. Great, GREAT article !! ?
I am originally from Salmon which is east and central, along the Continental Divide. Im based in Boise currently. I know the state well and have family in several spots.
Perfect timing for me. Hi Al, glad to hear from you again.
I still use most of this stuff, but can I pare down more. I have a very serious medical condition and do not want my brother to have to deal with more than necessary.
Thank you for a most beneficial post.
Al, your title for this entry.,. “One person’s Treasure is another person’s Burden”…..
Wow, just take a moment and think about that one.
Hi Al, nice to see an entry from you! You’re doing a good deed that Lou would have struggled with at some point.
If this helps, I also liquidated everything when I became a nomad, and had some good outcomes.
Most of my late husband’s tools went to Habitat for Humanity, a charity he supported by helping to build homes.
Most of my household contents went to nonprofit NW Hope in Vancouver Washington. I did a ton of research and visited them. I liked that nearly everything went directly to the people in need, and they had no highly paid CEO and many volunteers. A labor of love for them.
You’re right to keep sentiment at bay, as much as possible. Otherwise you’ll never finish and I’m sure Lou didn’t want to burden you like that.
One of my favorite possessions is a painting done by my mother; she took it off the wall and sent it home with me when I visited her. She didn’t want anyone to have to remember I liked it after she died.
Great Post! I had to move to Virginia from Minnesota in 2020 just after the pandemic got started. Those early days were scary so in getting rid of a houseful of stuff before moving to my new smaller home, I was facing a very difficult time selling things. GoodWill got a lot, but then I started having a few yard sales where almost everything was free. People loved it and I had a great time getting rid of stuff. Making people happy was payment enough to free myself from the possessions. I still filled up a 10 X12 dumpster to the bring, but most was junk or worth very little. 2 years ago we cleaned out my parent’s and they were in attendance. Mom wanted almost everything gone and dad wanted to inspect every item. In the end, dad had to let go and we sold, donated, dumped, and gave away a large inventory. Just to give an idea of the scale, we still filled 3 of the very large roll-off dumpsters. And I made two van-filled trips to Virginia with must-keep items.
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Eugene, Oregon.
We have a re-use organization — ‘Bring Recycling’:
* have windows after remodeling — drop them off at Bring.
* tools and supplies — Bring accepts them.
* used faucets, antique sinks, wiring and plumbing and lumber, you name it, Bring has it in the barns or out back in the yards.