MY BFF (GLAMPER GUY) AND I are planning an expedition through the U.S. as soon as we finish building our foamie slide-in camper. (Shown above, in the early stages.)

Since the construction decisions fall to Glamper Guy, I have to figure out everything else. Which is not really a good idea because I know nothing about camping. I wasn’t even a Girl Scout. 

But I do know how to cook, so the food and meal prep are my responsibility. And I do like to cook outside on the lanai. In Florida, it’s hotter than hell, especially in the summer, and we like to think cooking outside keeps the electricity bills down. 

My outside “range” is a small gas grill next to a toaster oven on a baker’s rack. I also have a Crockpot and a deep fryer out there. I’m old school.

I love electrical appliances. As do all red-blooded Americans. Do you think our ancestors crossed oceans in rat-infested ships, or mountains and deserts in covered wagons just to keep cooking over an open fire?

Hell no! They wanted houses with large eat-in kitchens with Formica countertops on which to pile appliances! Percolators, waffle irons, tea kettles, deep fryers, KitchenAids, Cuisinarts, can openers, bread machines, and Instapots have crammed the kitchen counters of America since Edison invented electricity.  

In fact, my idea of glamping (glamorous camping) is having my favorite appliances with me. I’ve narrowed it down to an electric tea kettle, the toaster oven and an ice maker. The gas grill isn’t technically an electric appliance, but it’s an absolute must.

I always use a frying pan on my grill to cook steaks, burgers, bacon and eggs. I save all the fat drippings to deep fry  chicken wings or make skin care creams.

One morning I cooked bacon and had lots of bacon fat left over as always. I thought, what if I don’t have an empty coffee can to pour the grease in when we’re camping? You can’t just leave it sitting in the pan for three days like you do at home. Every bear in a five hundred mile radius will come sniffing around. And I’m pretty sure I don’t have bear spray in my aerosol arsenal. I’ve never even seen it in a grocery store. 

Making brownies was also on my to-do list that day. So just for grins, I decided I’d use the bacon fat in place of butter in the brownie mix.

Here’s my recipe:

10.5 oz box of brownie mix (8×8 pan) 

½ cup bacon fat

1 egg

Mix the ingredients together in a bowl. The batter is very thick because I don’t add any water. Who needs water when you have bacon fat? These are brownies not a damn birthday cake. Add batter to six cupcake paper cups ¾ way full. 

Why cupcakes? Because a six-cup cupcake tin fits in a toaster oven! Of course you can use a small Pyrex pan, but Glamper Guy and glass just don’t mix. We’ll break that thing before the trip is over. And then we won’t be able to eat brownies while we’re rolling down the highways or looking at the stars.

Anyway, sprinkle some (cooked!) bacon pieces on the tops. They add a nice salty crunch.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes in your toaster oven.

Best damn brownies under the stars.

If you have an interesting nomad-friendly recipe you’d like to share, send it to editor.crvl@gmail.com